January 23, 2014

My Favorite Song: Say Something

  The first time I heard this song was during the AMA's and I fell in love instantly with the song. The music and the song itself. The sound of the piano and all. Watching the video made me teary eyed especially when I saw this 2 old couple, the woman is (I assume) dead while the husband is crying and just looking at her wife. Here is the video, in case you haven't seen it yet.

Here are my favorite lines from the song:

"Say something I'm giving up on you
I'll be the one if you want me too
Anywhere I would've followed you

And I will swallow my pride
You're the one that I love and I'm saying goodbye
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you.... "


January 8, 2014

A Different Christmas

     For 15 years that Francis and I were married last Christmas was the very first time (as well as New Year's Eve) that we celebrated it far from each other. As our respective families, relatives and friends know Francis left early this year to try his luck to be an overseas worker. It was difficult for us, especially for the youngest Amaya, to comprehend why Tatay (as we fondly calls him) have to work abroad.

     The first 5 months were the most difficult for us, especially for me because I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING, no one can "substitute" for me anymore. The transition from a 2-parents in the house to a "single" parent household was difficult as well. Since Francis' schedule of work is very erratic, most of the decisions that have to be made now falls on my shoulder, meaning before I give in to the girls, I better think it a lot of times before I say yes or no. So far, so good.

     I am just so thankful to the good Lord for blessing me and Francis 3 beautiful, intelligent and VERY UNDERSTANDING daughters, especially my 2 older ones - Arielle and Joie. Though there are still some questions on  their minds, every now and then, as much as possible Francis and I tries to give them honest answers.

     Last Christmas, each of my girls, made a love letter to their tatay...

this is from Ate Arielle

from Ate Joie

From Amaya

     Hoping (and crossing my fingers) that in a year or 2 (or 3) we will be one complete family again in celebrating Christmas and New Year.

January 6, 2014

I Am Home... Again

     Last December 24th, one of my agendas as to why I decided to come home to Calamba earlier than the usual is to pay a visit to the place where I spent most of my childhood. To visit my second home. To show my 3 girls, particulary, my 2 older girls, the family who, one way or another, let me feel part of their family.

this is the driveway,
where kuya Warren and I
used to play. 

this use to have
bermuda grass, but since
my Lolo Cano got sick
it was difficult
for them to maintain it.

that huge mango tree

this huge tree
gives sweet indian mangoes
during summer

my girls and their cousin
are so lucky to have
seen this place, still intact

my Amaya playing with Ela, my
brother's daughter

     Mr. Canuto Pabale, DOC to the veterinary world, but Lolo Cano to me, was my god-father (ninong) when I was baptized. Lolo Cano and his wife Lola Ellen, became my second parents. Since I was an ONLY child then (it took my parents 7 years before I have my 3 brothers) and so is their son, whom I call Kuya Warren, so in our hearts we consider each other as siblings.

     I can't recall how young I was when I started sleeping every weekend at their place. My dad usually brings me to Lolo Cano's place on a Saturday and picks me up the following day. It was Lola Ellen who taught me how to fold the blankets and fix the bed as soon as I wake up. If my memory, serves me right, to earn some money for my school allowance, I usually pick the leaves that falls off from this huge mango tree. As my dad told me and my brothers, Lolo Cano is also called MR. CLEAN by his colleagues, close friends and relatives for he doesn't want to see any dirt on his backyard, not even a leaf. I guess the acronym OC (obsessive compulsive) applies to him as well.

     But January 19th of 2013, my Lolo Cano passed away. I have to admit there were guilt feelings cause I wasn't able to visit him especially when he was at a critical condition already. That when I learned of his passing, I cried, buckets. As one of my older cousin, Ate Tina Francia , said to me at FaceBook, I WAS THE DAUGHTER HE NEVER HAD.

     So going back to a place where most of childhood was spent was bittersweet for me. Missing my Kuya Warren who is in the States and has a family of his own already. Lolo Cano't not there anymore. Though it was nice seeing Lola Ellen, who is doing fine and trying to be strong despite the face that she still cries. She was busy preparing some snacks for us. It was so nice to Walter, the youngest brother of Kuya Warren, who introduced us to his pet, Belly.

Lola Ellen and I were updating
each other about
our respective lives. She was
busy preparing some snacks for us. 

"TITO" Walter. hahaha!!! hey

Walter's pet, a pot-belly pig
whose name is Belly. hahaha!!! And
we miss her already.

     Before I left, the girls and I have a photo-op with Lola Ellen. I have a photo also taken beside the ashes/urn of my Lolo Cano.

Moi and my Lola Ellen. Susme!
parang ndi natanda ang
Lola Ellen ko

My girls, Ela and Me with
Lola Ellen.

Miss you Lolo Cano.

     To Lola Ellen, THANK YOU for the warm welcome you gave me and my girls. Be strong. I know that it will take you awhile to really MOVE ON. But I know that Lolo Cano is guiding you, Kuya Warren and Walter from up above. Take care of your health as well. Thank you for the aguinaldos you gave the girls.

     To Walter, THANK YOU for allowing my girls to feel at home in your place. Take care of Lola Ellen. Whether you like it or not, WE'RE SIBLINGS too. Hahaha! Thank you for introducing Belly to us. We miss your pig so much too.

     To Kuya Warren, I know you're in the States already, but I would still like to say THANK YOU for being a good older brother (kuya) to me. You're the older brother I never had. Thank you for being so patient, kind, understanding and loving as well. Hope to see you soon here at home.

     To my Lolo Cano, I know words are not enough to say my heartfelt THANK YOU for everything you have done for me and for my family. I know that wherever you are I know you're guiding us, especially your family. Thank you for all the LOVE you've showered on me. Thank you for ACCEPTING me as part of your family. My heartfelt THANK YOU. I love and miss you Lolo Cano